So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
