well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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