Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
