so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
