Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
