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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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