I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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