I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
