all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
