opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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