do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
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