Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
