Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
