Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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