people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
