you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
