his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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