Yo dont text me then not text me
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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