She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
That was an excessively violent trivia night
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
