Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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