I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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