Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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