"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize