i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
