God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize