NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
