if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just gargled with NyQuil
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
