i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
