Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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