he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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