I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
