It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
