Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
