My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Sorry about my life...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
