my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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