operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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