you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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