He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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