i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
