So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Randomize
