Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
