Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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