Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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