If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
