I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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