Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
