I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Christians are straight up FREAKS
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
