Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
