let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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