hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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