Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you win again, gameday.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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