I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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