It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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