He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
