who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
