I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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