Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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