i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
