the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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