New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
