I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I have fence marks all over my body
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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