I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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