ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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