My nipple is on Facebook.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
