and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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