How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
