its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
