Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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