Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
