He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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