but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
My vagina is officially offended.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
